IKR

This is coming from someone that has to clean public bathrooms regularly.

It’s near impossible to control the cleanliness of the place. You could clean it up spotless and then five minutes later someone comes in and vomits all over. (Yes, this happened.) or you just punch in for work and there’s shit all over the place. (Again, yes this happened.)

Do wish we had something to help get rid of the noise of everyone else crapping, or at the very least, something that helps get rid of the scent better than the crap we currently use. (You know those scented things shaped like a lamp? That’s what we have. Two of them.)

You could:

Climb the stall (using paper towels where your hands would touch the top of the walls.

Line the whole ground with plenty of paper towels, THEN crawl under.

Kick the fucking door down.

Always carry latex gloves with you.

I’ve used those and they’re fine imo. Squatting is how humans were originally designed to shit (you’ll notice you get to dump your load easier once you get used to it.) and who doesn’t want to have a pleasant tune while you do number two? Plus they’re generally cleaner than American bathrooms. I hardly saw brown infested toilets when I was there, even on public train stations.